INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL: A REVIEW
This is a film that was easy to look at and generally fun. One might describe it as being one of Spielberg’s better efforts, but that would be dishonest. Still, it is diverting. There are endless forms of tussling. The film takes on the character of a chase flick from the outset, when kids are out driving some sort of hotrod convertible and “playing” with a convoy of U.S. Army soldiers.
This movie looks good, moves about well, and is well-choreographed. Here, I am referring to the intricate chases and tussles that fill the flick. This adventure film takes its action seriously. It is mostly froth, as opposed to beer.
I believe that the frequent use of animals as a source of comedy rivals theTarzan movies. The movie begins with a prairie dog sneaking-a-peek at his world. Thereafter, the moviegoer will encounter “rat snakes,” monkeys, army ants, and scorpions. The ludicrous usage made of the rat snake takes it out of any fearful status. The monkeys seem to be a bit patronizing toward the humans–but who could blame them?
There is a sort of ritual temple encountered toward the film’s end that looks to be a generic Aztec-Mayan one, but which is incredibly crafted with skillful use of levers, gears and weights and ballasts. Frankly, at times in this flick I got so lost by its milieu that I half expected to see Patrick and Benjamin Franklin Gates enter to solve the riddle and gain the “national treasure” (“Take any man’s treasure! The laws of nations are at my command!”). Maybe we will soon witness Indiana Jones and the Gates sharing an improbable adventure.
I thought the special effects were done well. I especially liked the rendering of the detonation of a nuclear device at the Army testing facility. The mushroom cloud and shock waves were well rendered. As with most aspects of this film, a humorous element seems available to the viewer. There are “tongue in cheek” moments. Deadly doings and belly laughs are like two bulls pulling this “carnie” trailer along.
Among the perils encountered by our intrepid adventurer, Indiana Jones, are a vast army of ants (rather large ones, at that). These mini-villains took care of Spalko’s “big boy” comrade. In fact, as loony as it sounds, they dragged the Russian brute down their rather commodious anthole. Bon appetit!
The final aboriginal temple, rising from a high valley clearing in that pyramidal shape to which we are accustomed, had had several prefigurements, including the prairie dog “home” at the outset and the army ant mound.
Further, I saw a certain suggestion of the “Visitor’s” exit in the mushroom cloud that bellowed up from the nuclear detonation.
Additionally, in regard to these “Visitors,” at one point their was a sort of mosaic rendering of the thirteen original “gods,” each seated on a highback chair, after the fashion of a council of lords or judges. For me it recalled and symbolized the thirteen tribes of Israel (inserting for Joseph his sons, Ephraim and Manasseh). They are destined to sit as judges. When, at the end, they collapsed into one figure, it recalled the regathering of Israel.
Now, I’m not so sure that Spielberg may not have had something of the sort in mind, except his emphasis is that these “gods” come from somewhere else. That dovetails with the twin propositions found in Jewry of the utter uniqueness of Jews, relative to other people, and their consistent interest in intelligent life in outer space–perhaps far more advanced than earthlings. I believe that Jewish sci-fi writers, as well as popularizers of space science, such as the late Carl Sagan, have created scenarios for space-based stories, ostensibly involving a potpouri of interesting beings but always with Jewry itself as the abiding inspiration. If you listen carefully to Jews speaking in this area, you can easily infer that there exists within Jewry the idea that Jews, themselves, at one time came from outer space and created the Bible to represent their origins and to imprint upon the lesser order of beings a system of beliefs, allowing for both hegemony and orderliness.
Story capsule: Indiana Jones and “Mac” (Ray Winstone), who is a MI6, or double agent cad, are shanghaied by U.S.S.R agents under the leadership of “Irina Spalko” (Cate Blanchett). They take their captives to a nuclear testing facility at which there is also a huge warehouse containing several hundred, perhaps thousands, of boxes of various sizes but often large. Good thing for beefy Indiana! Spalko is looking for a box that Indiana Jones had help to fill with a “thing” (he’s not sure what) at a “dig” under the auspices of the Pentagon. (The implication is UFO matters.) The whereabouts of the box in this vast archive of boxes Indiana didn’t know. Spalko threatens him. He recalls that it is highly magnetic and uses that characteristic–along with gun powder and buckshot–to help locate the box. As the commies are focused on opening the box and bagged “thing”, Indiana has the opportunity to rumble. After much running about, he finds himself inside a Potemkin village for A-bomb test. The seconds dwindle down to a precious few befor the imminent detonation. Indiana jumps inside a refrigerator, which is conveniently lined with lead. (Of course, the lead may cause some permanent physical injury also, but doesn’t rank with being at ground zero of a nuke blast.) And please! Let’s not meditate upon the subject of breathing radioactive particles at ground zero , when the shock wave tosses your refrigerator “safe house” a quarter of a mile, breaking it open. Rescued and scrubbed down by the Army (or Feds), Indiana is suspected of collaboration with the commies, who had, as the opening scenes of the flick revealed, murdered all the Army guards. The F.B.I. considered him a “person of interest.” His old Army contacts vouched for him, but the Feds weren’t so sure.
[Parenthetically, in this film there are implications that the concern over communists in our leading institutions was manifested by heavy-handed goverment actions, which amounted to a cruel "witch-hunt." Yet, the birth of the Republic of Russia has allowed scholars access to material previously unavailable to the West. From this material the extent of communist infiltration is far better known and this data rather strongly vindicates the late Senator Joseph McCarthy of Wisconsin. Although Sen. McCarthy's name has been defamed and himself demonized, he was obviously generally correct. From these Soviet archives, it is known, for example, that Supreme Court Judge Felix Frankfurter was a communist agent. He was the legal mentor and friend of Philip Graham, who had married Eugene Meyer's daughter, Katherine, and led The Washington Post, until his alleged suicide. Katherine's "child," Donnie, is said to run the Post presently. How deep the influence of such communists happened to be cannot be known. Another agent of communism was the physicist Oppenheimer, who led the effort to create an atom bomb to drop on the hated German people, which people committed the crime of desiring self-rule and of seeking "a room of their own" on this great Earth. The Irina Spalko character specifically mentions Oppenheimer favorably to Indiana, who seems to respond back in a favorable way. "Bloods thicker than water," tis said.]
The camera cuts to a campus scene where Professor Jones, looking spiffy for a “teach,” is doing his thing, lecturing yawning students. The college dean informs him that he’ll have to take a paid leave, due to the awkward “anti-commie” mood in the country and the particular pale of suspicion Indiana was under. He decides to head East, but a motorcycle bearing a “ducktailed” hood was trying to get his attention. Indiana powwows with the young man who turns out the be “greaser” spinning his wheels–quit school. The lad has an envelope from his Mom (Karen Allen), who told him to get it to Indiana Jones. There was talk of the legend of the Crystal Skull. Indiana initially scoffs at the legend as “just a story,” but when the dude pops a letter from old Prof. Oxley, a close friend of Indiana’s, the plot thickens. Before you can say: National Treasure!, Indiana Jones has perceived that the letter is a message in the form of a riddle. However, the joy of anticipation is interrupted by a visitation from KGB brutes, and the two are off on the lad’s, Mutt Williams’ (Shia LaBeouf), “hog” in one lengthy chase. The KGB agents are eluded by engineering a brawl at the burger shop. With Indiana’s blood up for the adventure, the trip is on. The moviegoer sees the trip to Peru by means of several vintage planes. One bore the logo of the now defunct Pan American Airlines. After this, there are numerous tussles, chases and perils to overcome. Among the stand-outs in this regard is the absurd displacement of Mutt into a tree, where he is eyed curiously by a monkey, and then, prompted by “monkey see-monkey do,” begins to swing through the jungle on vines, trying to catch up with Indiana, Mom, Prof. Oxley, and the crystal skull Oxley carries close– like a babe. Not since Tarzan flicks were churned out, has there been so much fellowship between the two primate genuses. Still another memorable scene was the sword fight between Mutt and Irina, while standing on, and sometimes straddling, trucks careening along a jungle road. Thrilling, funny, slapstickish, and very engaging. In this movie the stunt men and women deserve as much praise as the actors, since the flick is so action-oriented and rather imaginative in choreography. It turns out that Mutt’s Mom is Indiana’s old lovergirl, Marion Ravenwood. This provides the opportunity for a lot of dumb kvetching about “water under the bridge” and fingerpointing. Furthermore, Indiana learns that the young ne’erdowell, Mutt, is his son. Say what! Mutt is pretty “cool” to the idea, once he sees that “teach” is pretty good with his fist. “You’re going back and finish college!” says Indiana. Meanwhile, the jibberjabbering Prof. Oxley seems to be “coming home to his head.” Not only do the good guys have to fight off the pursuing commies, but they are attacked by the army ants, and they tussle with poison dart-blowing aboriginal tribesmen. Their “hold card” is the crystal skull. Things just naturally respect its unfathomable power. Why? Don’t ask me. Something about the eyes, as I recall. After defying death in three significant drops from waterfalls, everything else is cake, I suppose. Meanwhile, the commies are dwindling down too. Soon, they find themselves at the sacred spot, where a pyramidal structure rises from the jungle boondocks. They hasten to its flattened top, where they spy a large rectangular structure with gargoyles sticking out. Naturally, Mom deduces from watching Prof. Oxley dithering about it that it’s “something.” She begins pulling at a gargoyle. Indiana, always a man of action, as well as of scholarly ways, grabs a stone and crushes it against one of the gargoyles. Sand begins pouring out. By knocking off a few more they initiated a structural transformation, setting forth levers, gears and the like. It’s quite an engineering project. Not too long thereafter they are schlepping down to the inner sanctum, looking for a headless figure. They were not at all surprised to find themselves in a sort of council room, surrounded by thirteen figures twelve of whom possessed crystal heads. Why? They had seen a “likeness clue” earlier and knew there were thirteen figures. Meanwhile, Mac, who had pretended to be a triple agent, was scooping up as much treasure as possible in a scene seen many times before. Irina shows up, too, after the Indian Jones party had replaced the crystal head on the crystal neck. She is intent on “knowing all.” Meanwhile, the thirteen figures suddenly merge and contract into a single crystal figure, which then transforms into a “classic visitor,” having a large head, hairless, large eyes, grayish-green skin color. He’s either 1) not all that kindly, or 2) a judge of character, who found Irina wanting. Whatever spin you want to put on the matter, he stared Irina into annihilation. The Visitor abruptly passes through a gateway, it closes, and before you can say–well–say Steven Spielberg, the thing the Visitor is in begins an ascent. It is apparent that it is a “flying saucer.” (Let’s hope it doesn’t fly over Tucson.) Meanwhile, the Indiana party is headed for safe ground. There is an epilog to this movie inwhich connubial bliss overcomes post-penetration departum.
All rights reserved. Gobigfoot, 2008.

