BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (2008): A MOVIE REVIEW

Rachel lets Chloe say "Good-bye" to Aunt Viv.

This is a rather failed effort at producing a canine comedy of manners blended with an adventure/kidnap/chase flick. Naturally, the “thinking” and personalties of the dog characters are indistinguishable from that of humans. The entirety of the scenes at the outset of the movie represented a characature of the New Money crowd, which is rendered by the humans and echoed by their pooches. Every element of the film is stale. Nevertheless, one may find something humorous along the way. It is directed by Raja Gosnell.

STORYLINE:   While rich patron schmoozed in Europe, her pampered Chihuahua pet went on a “south of the border” trip with her “Mom pro tempore.” The “fun-run” became a nightmare when pooch Chloe was kidnapped by shady hombres operating a dogfight business. A “down-on-his-luck” Rin Tin Tin lookalike proved to be Chloe’s wonder dog. He was not the only one, as the Chuhuahua, Papi, a not-so-secret admirer of Chloe, had joined his master, the young landscaper, Pedro, in a separate rescue effort. Pedro and Rachel joined forces in the chase. Love, danger, and a menagerie mixed it up, as they all converged on Chloe. Guess what? Mom returned from Europe, embraced her “baby” and suddenly discovered a new perfume line for her business. It’s sort of earthy, doncha know?

COMMENTARY:     As her wealthy owner-”Mom” prepared for a business trip in Europe to promote her company’s new cosmetic line, she consigned her “little treasure” to the care of her niece, Rachel (Perabo), who wasn’t overjoyed at the burden but who knew who controlled the big bucks. The little treasure has the name Chloe, and she was a Chihuahua diva of Rodeo Drive. The pampered pooch has a set of canine “beautiful people” pals, affording all who noticed them the opportunity to consider the vacuity of folks unable to, or unwilling to, utilize excess wealth for the general good. Tellingly, Aunt Viv (Curtis) has made her big bucks in cosmetics, where she assisted “stinking people” to hide their “crimes” from the nose of the World Community.

Yet, the little Eden of Aunt Viv and Chloe is not entirely posh. There are hired people there to play the valet, landscaper, and the like. The landscaper, Pedro, is young, assured, and confident in his professional abilities. However, he is usually referenced as “gardener.” As an attraction can be detected between Pedro and Rachel, Aunt Viv’s niece, as the film progressed, there is an element of Lady Chatterly’s Lover hinted at but not developed.

This film is like that. Thematic snippets from other films were introduced suddenly then allowed to quickly fade away, as the body of the action plowed through it, episode after episode plodding toward the film’s appointed climax. Can you say, “Walkies!”

All of this is preparation for a “consciousness-raising” experience by Chloe. The little white canine Chihuahua experienced an abrupt alteration of her surroundings, forcing her to rely on the kindnesses of stray dogs ( rat & iguana, too). Further, though  these were mostly “right on” dogs, not every dog wagged an honest tail.

How did this come about? Rachel took her “ward for the week” on a fun weekend in Mexico, and Chloe got nabbed by shady hombres in the dog-fighting racket. Now Chloe, still mostly dressed like “Bride of Chuckie in Vegas,” found herself in a dirty underground chamber filled with big, rough-looking dogs. Naturally, she got teased a bit. In a cage nearby lurked a big German Shepherd with an ominously deep, yet world-weary voice. It’s Delgado (Garcia). He put her down, too, but you correctly got the feeling he’s going to be her guardian bowzer. The king of the fighting dogs was El Diablo, a mean-looking Doberman. Every experienced moviegoer expected that Delgado and El Diablo must have a tousle at or near the climax of the film. As the story progressed, Delgado was revealed to be a former canine cop, who had had issues with El Diablo from the old days.

Promptly, Chloe was released into the pit that was walled and overlooked by a crowd of dog-fight enthusiasts. She was hooted at, as she was dressed like a slightly soiled, Vegas showgirl. Across from her was the dark, menacing El Diablo. By now, Delgado, emoting like a reluctant William Holden-character, has, with a “I-could-kick-myself” attitude, set forth to rescue the “fair damsel.” He did, in fact, save Chloe from El Diablo by briefly opening the escape gate, allowing her slip out, and then closing it on El Diablo before he could enter.

There followed a Spartacus homage, as the canine exodus by all the “gladiator” dogs penned in the chamber beneath the fight facility occurred pell-mell, compliments of Delgado. Into the streets the revolting gladiator-dogs charged, and then the romance of it all was dashed by Delgado telling Chloe that she was on her own. “It’s a dog-eat-dog world,” he advised her. She pled with him not to leave her all alone, and with loathing and dread, the German Shepherd stopped, turned to take a last look at the “little white missy,” and, grumbling to himself, returned to help her. He mentioned a hotel that Chloe remembered having stayed at with her biped “Mom.” It was settled; Delgado would escort her there.

It was a good thing, as the shady operator of the dogfighting facility had commanded El Diablo to get the little white Chihuahua. From this point a secondary chase plot is inaugerated, more or less counterpointing and paralleling the chase effort of Rachel, Pedro, Papi, and the police. Count the weak and brief chase effort of Manuel, the rat, and his iguana pal, pursuing the diamond-necklace/dog-collar once occupying the neck of Chloe, and you can say three.

This episodic film allowed the Disney people to render life in Mexico in a way that is comprehensible to American tourists. However, there is an entirely curious and quazi-”racist” episode with Montezuma, the leader of a tribe of Chihuahuas that called an Aztec ruin, including sacrificial, step-pyramid temple, their “home.” Why the Disney people went this route is not easily understood. Since all the dogs were, for the most part, disguised humans, the Montezuma-led clan’s assertion of a special Chihuahua “soul” which the Chihuahuas of the world must perceive and embrace, saying “No mas” to any forms that profaned this ideal, seemed consistent with some of the blowsy postulations of the Nazis. Or La Raza, for that matter. It jarred with the social “education” afforded Chloe by the stray dogs she had encountered during her adventure in Mexico.

All in all, this is an uneven adventure. If you choose to go, dress accordingly. Cologne/perfume anyone?

Cast Voices: Chloe-Drew Barrymore, Papi-George Lopez, Delgado-Andy Garcia, Manuel-Cheech Marin, Montezuma-Placido Domingo, El Diablo-Edward James Olmos

Cast: Aunt Viv-Jamie Lee Curtis, Rachel-Piper Perabo, Pedro-Axel Alba

All rights reserved. Gobigfoot, 2009